Contagious Emotions or Biblical Teachings?

Crazy morning. I hate drama. Drama-drama-drama. I had to google a theory which I've held for a few decades now. Emotions are contagious. Are they? Why? Can't we be more...you know,... unique? (lol)

'The Washington Post' ( http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/05/29/AR2006052900757.html ) has an excellent, intriguing article on this very topic. What made me finally decide to tickle google's fancy with another click?

I keep my grand-daughter after school. Anyone who has watched over children for a length of time realizes that communication skills are somewhat confusing from them. What happens when they are away from you, conveyed in their own language to you can leave a lot to be desired. (Sanity for one;)

Briana's 2nd grade teacher is absent quite a bit. She is a seasoned teacher with many years of experience under her belt and the age to prove it. Her husband has been in and out of the hospital with various problems to which she must be present for. (I would too*) We hear about how upsetting 'her home' is from Briana all the time. Meaning she must talk about it to the class just as much. (Out of the mouth of babes, Briana is tired of hearing about it.)

The class is also much smaller than mine or my daughters ever were. 17 students. I've always said that school bus drivers and teachers get my vote, as I find it difficult caring for ONE at times. Always have.

This morning we find among Bri's papers a memographed note stating that an extensive work which makes up most of the children's grade is due. Nothing else comes with this note, other than an explanation of a writing about home life and the mention of a spiral bound book. Where's this spiral bound book? (15 minutes to bus time and nerves are starting to edge up.)

I'm cooking breakfast for everyone and putting a hot/cold lunch together for Bri. It is half-day...meaning I drive to pick her up in just a few hours, then Christmas vacation begins. The teacher was out again yesterday, and today also. (More surgery.)

Now a slight digression. My daughter is an Aries/Tiger. To be precise...she is a redneck. ;)

Back on topic. 'Mom's...blood pressure is climbing. She has already written a note to the teacher and received NO response. The conversation around the table includes calling the principle, the TV station and school board. (Did I mention that I don't like drama?)

I am the 'new ager' in the group. (An irritant pacifist to most.) I try earnestly to be politically correct while supporting everyone's right's, the people in the military, all religious views be they mine or other-wise, ya-de-ya-de-ya-da. Ever make a tiger angry? Not a pretty sight.

I mentioned something about being cautious with ones energy and remembering that all things affect everything, and included 'karma' in the attempt to calm.

Drawing a nub back I vowed not to be angry, and did not allow a nano-second of the emotion to touch me. (Yet)...I looked suspiciously around the kitchen knowing full well that a dark cloud had been deposited much like a nuclear fall out cloud right where I live. I went with everyone to get children on the bus with lunch in hand...mommy's and daddy's off to work, and returned to my parents home to clean up the morning mess. While doing so I must check my blood sugar before eating. I have not 1, but 2 new machine's and kits to choose from THIS morning.

I pull out box # 1 and assemble the supplies. Hmmm...funny. No sticks to put my blood on.

That's okay, because I have TWO kits. (Smiling to myself.) Put up #1 items and pull out #2's.

No battery. That's cool too...just take the battery out of my old kit I've been using and put it in the new one. Okay...now...sugar sticks. (I know they're here some where.) Sugar sticks.

I can NOT belive this. ... Everyone has had breakfast except for me...I have NO more money to even BUY sugar sticks to CHECK my *@#*$(%^&@ sugar till the 3rd of next month and these kit's that have everything have NO SUGAR STICKS!!!!! Breathe.... Stop... let go...

Damn nuclear fall out.

Waiting for Christmas...

Matthew 21:33-46 (King James Version)

33Hear another parable: There was a certain householder, which planted a vineyard, and hedged it round about, and digged a winepress in it, and built a tower, and let it out to husbandmen, and went into a far country:
34And when the time of the fruit drew near, he sent his servants to the husbandmen, that they might receive the fruits of it.
35And the husbandmen took his servants, and beat one, and killed another, and stoned another.
36Again, he sent other servants more than the first: and they did unto them likewise.
37But last of all he sent unto them his son, saying, They will reverence my son.
38But when the husbandmen saw the son, they said among themselves, This is the heir; come, let us kill him, and let us seize on his inheritance.
39And they caught him, and cast him out of the vineyard, and slew him.
40When the lord therefore of the vineyard cometh, what will he do unto those husbandmen?
41They say unto him, He will miserably destroy those wicked men, and will let out his vineyard unto other husbandmen, which shall render him the fruits in their seasons.
42Jesus saith unto them, Did ye never read in the scriptures, The stone which the builders rejected, the same is become the head of the corner: this is the Lord's doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes?
43Therefore say I unto you, The kingdom of God shall be taken from you, and given to a nation bringing forth the fruits thereof.
44And whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder.
45And when the chief priests and Pharisees had heard his parables, they perceived that he spake of them.
46But when they sought to lay hands on him, they feared the multitude, because they took him for a prophet.

There are of course, several interpretations for this parable as with many parts of the Bible. Some say that the 'far off place' may be heaven. What if this were a story read today...current time? All parts of the holy scriptures being true, are true to the ends of time...are they not? Meaning that the interpretations shouldn't be connected to one focal point alone.

My reason for bringing this up is only to cause one to think a moment...not put anyone on the defense.

I have recently been reading the book, 'The Name of the Rose'. The movie version left me with several questions, not to mention it focused way too much on the sensationalism of the sexual scene. I am grateful for the moment to have the book in order to get a better grasp of the time period as well as subject matter. In the 'novel'...the lead role speaks a great deal (as a monk) on various religious interpretations. The ones that stood out for myself were in regards to Revelations. I had always been 'taught'- that the referral to the beast with seven heads and ten horns was in regards to specific nations*

Revelation 17:3 So he carried me away in the spirit into the wilderness: and I saw a woman sit upon a scarlet coloured beast, full of names of blasphemy, having seven heads and ten horns.

In the novel, however... the interpretation made much more sense, stating the numbers were in regards to the seven deadly sins and ten commandments.

I have been told by other street philosophers that many novels of fiction carry important truths if one but looks with an open mind. Not meaning that I take novels to be 'holy'. Just merely pointing out that 'truth'...is in the eye of the beholder. Just like beauty, eh? *Chuckles*

So I will end today's meandurings with a few quotes.

"The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention…. A loving silence often has far more power to heal and to connect than the most well-intentioned words." ~Rachel Naomi Remen.

"In the attitude of silence the soul finds the path in an clearer light, and what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness. Our life is a long and arduous quest after Truth." ~Mahatma Gandhi

"You can hear the footsteps of God when silence reigns in the mind." ~Sri Sathya Sai Baba

Fruitcake*

All of the jokes aside, what we know of as fruitcake today has a long history in several countries. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fruit_cake#History My own personal prediction is that it will fade into the history books by the next generation...in the United States at least. I've not been witness to any of those born after my own time period that didn't wince at the mention of it.

My first recollections of this treat were around my own Christmas times. My mother's recipe came from the old worn 'Better Homes and Garden Cookbook, with a few alterations. Now on the 3rd generation it has been fine tuned to my own liking. The cool thing is that mom and dad love what I've done.

After Mom, my grandmother would make her own. They fit perfectly into the tins she'd found for them. She would pour her choice of alcohol on them, seal them up and let them marinate for a year. Years later after her death we discovered why that age old tradition died out...(hopefully not why grandma did, j/k.) Several tins were found in cleaning out her home with moldy marinater's. There may have been a new medical discovery in there somewhere...but we opted for tossing them out.

Sugar is a good preservative for fruits and their peels when prepared correctly. Best left to manufactors these days...yet time may bring back the necessity one day for rediscovering many ways of preserving food that have gone forgotten by the average household. If this occur's then so too will the rediscovery of how sinfully rich this 'treat' really is.

Here is my recipe*

Preheat oven to 325 degree's.

Using 1/4 stick of softened butter, generously grease 1 tube pan. Set aside.

2 bowls are best* (1 very large.)

In the large bowl add...

1+1/2 cups candied cherries whole

1 cup white/red/dark raisins

1 cup candied pineapple chunks

2 cups candied 'citron'. (Various citrus peels sugary sweet.)

1 package chopped dates

1+1/2 cup chopped pecans

Stir together.

Add 1 cup bread flour, stirring well. Incorrporating flour into the sticky mixture will cause it to remain dispursed in the cake and not let it all sink to the bottom...though with this recipe it would be hard to tell, lol!

In the second bowl whisk together 2 sticks softened butter with

1 cup of granulated sugar. When well blended whisk in

4 eggs, one at a time. Now whisk in

1/2 cup apricot nectar and

1/4 cup kayro (clear) syrup. After this is well blended add

2 cups bread flour and incorporate well. Then add your spices...

1 tsp cinnamon (Ceylon where available)

1/2 tsp fresh grated nutmeg (can substitute already ground)

1/2 tsp fresh grated or ground ginger

1/4 tsp ground cloves.

Add this creamed mixture to the fruits/nuts mixture, making certain to mix it well so that there are no 'dry flour patches'.

Pour mixture into buttered tube pan.

Arrange more nuts and whole fruits into a pattern on top of batter.

In a cup mix together 1/4 cup apricot nectar and 1/4 cup kayro syrup till blended. Use a pastry or clean BBQ brush to cover the nuts & fruits with this mixture till you've used the entire 1/2 cup. It will have standing liquid on top.

Place into preheated oven and cook approximatly 1 hour. Loosely lay a sheet of aluminum foil on top of cake and return to oven. Turn heat down to 250 degrees for an additional hour to hour and a half, or till well browned and aroma is filling the house. (Non fruit-cake lovers will like this smell as well.)

It is best to let the cake cool in pan before using a knife to loosen edge and turn out. Have your pattern side up on plate. Slice carefully with sereated knife* The whole fruit in the cake makes a lovely presentation* (The nuts don't handle as well when cutting whole inside the cake. Outside you can deal with much easier.)

I do not add alcohol to mine...though a tsp or two of rum extract into the batter may have the same affect.

The Silver Refiner

"There was a group of women in a Bible study on the book of Malachi. As they were studying chapter three they came across verse three which says, "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver." This verse puzzled the women and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God.
One of the women offered to find out about the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible study. That week the woman called up a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest in silver beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver. As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that, in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest so as to burn away all the impurities.
The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot - then she thought again about the verse, that He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver. She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined. The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. For if the silver was left even a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.
The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?" He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's the easy part -- when I see my image reflected in it."
Remember that God is the one who created us, male and female, in God's own image.

Next find the passage in the Bible and read it in context. (Malachi 3:2b-4)... with "judgment and accountability for priests." "He will purify the sons of Levi." The "sons of Levi" aka the "Levites" are the priestly clan of Israel. Clearly this is directed at priests. There is a particular responsibility that goes along with being a priest - a servant-leader in a religious community. But was is this really aimed just at the priests? In the Christian understanding all the followers of Jesus, the Christ, are priests. "What?" you say. Yes, you see, we are all part of the "priesthood of all believers."

1 Peter 1 (King James Version)

1 Peter, an apostle of Jesus Christ, to the strangers scattered throughout Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia, and Bithynia,

2 Elect according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, through sanctification of the Spirit, unto obedience and sprinkling of the blood of Jesus Christ: Grace unto you, and peace, be multiplied.

3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, which according to his abundant mercy hath begotten us again unto a lively hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,

4 To an inheritance incorruptible, and undefiled, and that fadeth not away, reserved in heaven for you,

5 Who are kept by the power of God through faith unto salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.

6 Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations:

7 That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:

8 Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory:

9 Receiving the end of your faith, even the salvation of your souls.

10 Of which salvation the prophets have enquired and searched diligently, who prophesied of the grace that should come unto you:

11 Searching what, or what manner of time the Spirit of Christ which was in them did signify, when it testified beforehand the sufferings of Christ, and the glory that should follow.

12 Unto whom it was revealed, that not unto themselves, but unto us they did minister the things, which are now reported unto you by them that have preached the gospel unto you with the Holy Ghost sent down from heaven; which things the angels desire to look into.

13 Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end for the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ;

14 As obedient children, not fashioning yourselves according to the former lusts in your ignorance:

15 But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation;

16 Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy.

17 And if ye call on the Father, who without respect of persons judgeth according to every man's work, pass the time of your sojourning here in fear:

18 Forasmuch as ye know that ye were not redeemed with corruptible things, as silver and gold, from your vain conversation received by tradition from your fathers;

19 But with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot:

20 Who verily was foreordained before the foundation of the world, but was manifest in these last times for you,

21 Who by him do believe in God, that raised him up from the dead, and gave him glory; that your faith and hope might be in God.

22 Seeing ye have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit unto unfeigned love of the brethren, see that ye love one another with a pure heart fervently:

23 Being born again, not of corruptible seed, but of incorruptible, by the word of God, which liveth and abideth for ever.

24 For all flesh is as grass, and all the glory of man as the flower of grass. The grass withereth, and the flower thereof falleth away:

25 But the word of the Lord endureth for ever. And this is the word which by the gospel is preached unto you.

So, you are a priest, too.
Which means this parable is for you, too. The implication of this story is that God judges us and holds us accountable for his love and commitment to us and to us becoming the best versions of ourselves that we can possibly be.
God sits patiently enduring the heat right along with each and every one of us, handling us carefully, always intently watching the progress of being refined, of getting closer and closer to the point where, eventually, in looking at us, God clearly sees the reflection of His own image in us.

Two Natures*

“The Legend of the Two Wolves “
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son, the battle is between two "wolves" inside us all.
One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?"
The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."
Perhaps we should all take a moment and reflect on which wolf we are feeding – like when men in power use war to promote peace and televangelists are calling for assassinations. The legend lives in all of us who choose to recognize and feed it.

Merry Christmas*

Remembering the reason for the season*

This video is too large to embed here...so I am giving you the direct link. It contains extreemly graphic photo's with a very emotional message.

http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v316/beachmouse/VideoClips/?action=view&current=MaryDidYouKnow.flv

The Pushup Parable*

The Push-ups Parable*

There was a boy by the name of Steve who was attending school in Utah. Brother Christianson taught at this particular school. He had an open-door policy and would take in any student that had been thrown out of another class as long as they would abide by his rules. Steve had been kicked out of his sixth period and no other teacher wanted him, so he went into Brother Christianson's class. Steve was told that he could not be late, so he arrived just seconds before the bell rang and he would sit in the very back of the room. He would also be the first to leave after the class was over. One day, Brother Christianson asked Steve to stay after class so he could talk with him. After class, Bro. Christianson pulled Steve aside and said, "You think you're pretty tough, don't you?" Steve's answer was, "Yeah, I do." Then Brother Christianson asked, "How many push-ups can you do?" Steve said, "I do about 200 every night." "200? That's pretty good, Steve," Brother Christianson said. "Do you think you could do 300?" Steve replied, "I don't know... I've never done 300 at a time." "Do you think you could?" Again asked Brother Christianson. "Well, I can try," said Steve. "Can you do 300 in sets of 10? I need you to do 300 in sets of ten for this to work. Can you do it? I need you to tell me you can do it," Brother Christianson said. Steve said, "Well... I think I can... yeah, I can do it." Brother Christianson said, "Good! I need you to do this on Friday." Friday came and Steve got to class early and sat in the front of the room. When class started, Brother Christianson pulled out a big box of donuts. Now these weren't the normal kinds of donuts, they were the extra fancy BIG kind, with cream centers and frosting swirls. Everyone was pretty excited-it was Friday, the last class of the day, and they were going to get an early start on the weekend. Bro. Christianson went to the first girl in the first row and asked, "Cynthia, do you want a donut?" Cynthia said, "Yes." Bro. Christianson then turned to Steve and asked, "Steve, would you do ten push-ups so that Cynthia can have a donut?" Steve said, "Sure," and jumped down from his desk to do a quick ten. Then Steve again sat in his desk. Bro. Christianson put a donut on Cynthia's desk. Bro. Christianson then went to Joe, the next person, and asked, "Joe do you want a donut?" Joe said, "Yes." Bro. Christianson asked, "Steve would you do ten push-ups so Joe can have a donut?" Steve did ten push-ups, Joe got a donut. And so it went, down the first aisle, Steve did ten pushups for every person before they got their donut. And down the second aisle, till Bro. Christianson came to Scott. Scott was captain of the football team and center of the basketball team. He was very popular and never lacking for female companionship. When Bro. Christianson asked, "Scott do you want a donut?" Scott's reply was, "Well, can I do my own pushups?" Bro. Christianson said, "No, Steve has to do them." Then Scott said, "Well, I don't want one then." Bro. Christianson then turned to Steve and asked "Steve, would you do ten pushups so Scott can have a donut he doesn't want?" Steve started to do ten pushups. Scott said, "HEY! I said I didn't want one!" Bro. Christianson said, "Look, this is my classroom, my class, my desks, and my donuts. Just leave it on the desk if you don't want it." And he put a donut on Scott's desk. Now by this time, Steve had begun to slow down a little. He just stayed on the floor between sets because it took too much effort to be getting up and down. You could start to see a little perspiration coming out around his brow. Bro. Christianson started down the third row. Now the students were beginning to get a little angry. Bro. Christianson asked Jenny, "Jenny, do you want a donut?" Jenny said, "No." Then Bro. Christianson asked Steve, "Steve, would you do ten pushups so Jenny can have a donut that she doesn't want?" Steve did ten, Jenny got a donut. By now, the students were beginning to say "No" and there were all these uneaten donuts on the desks. Steve was also having to really put forth a lot of effort to get these pushups done for each donut. There began to be a small pool of sweat on the floor beneath his face, his arms and brow were beginning to get red because of the physical effort involved. Bro. Christianson asked Robert to watch Steve to make sure he did ten pushups in a set because he couldn't bear to watch all of Steve's work for all of those uneaten donuts. So Robert began to watch Steve closely. Bro. Christianson started down the fourth row. During his class, however, some students had wandered in and sat along the heaters located on the sides of the room. When Bro. Christianson realized this; he did a quick count and saw 34 students in the room. He started to worry if Steve would be able to make it. Bro. Christianson went on to the next person and the next and the next. Near the end of that row, Steve was really having a rough time. He was taking a lot more time to complete each set. Steve asked Bro. Christianson, "Do I have to make my nose touch on each one?" Bro. Christianson thought for a moment, "Well, they're your pushups.. You can do them any way that you want." And Bro. Christianson went on. A few moments later, Jason came to the room and was about to come in when all the students yelled, "NO! Don't come in! Stay out!" Jason didn't know what was going on. Steve picked up his head and said, "No, let him come in." Bro. Christianson said, "You realize that if Jason comes in you will have to do ten pushups for him." Steve said, "Yes, let him come in." Bro. Christianson said, "Okay, I'll let you get Jason's out of the way right now. Jason, do you want a donut?" "Yes." "Steve, will you do ten pushups so that Jason can have a donut?" Steve did ten pushups very slowly and with great effort. Jason, bewildered, was handed a donut and sat down. Bro. Christianson finished the fourth row, then started among those seated on the heaters. Steve's arms were now shaking with each pushup in a struggle to lift himself against the force of gravity. Sweat was dropping off of his face and, by this time, there was not a dry eye in the room. The very last two girls in the room were cheerleaders and very popular. Bro. Christianson went to Linda, the second to last, and asked, "Linda, do you want a doughnut? Linda said, very sadly, "No, thank you." Bro. Christianson asked Steve, "Steve, would you do ten pushups so that Linda can have a donut she doesn't want?" Grunting from the effort, Steve did ten very slow pushups for Linda.. Then Bro. Christianson turned to the last girl, Susan. "Susan, do you want a donut?" Susan, with tears flowing down her face, asked, "Bro. Christianson, can I help him?" Bro. Christianson, with tears of his own, said, "No, he has to do it alone, Steve, would you do ten pushups so Susan can have a donut?" As Steve very slowly finished his last pushup, with the understanding that he had accomplished all that was required of him, having done 350 pushups, his arms buckled beneath him and he fell to the floor. Brother Christianson turned to the room and said. "And so it was, that our Savior, Jesus Christ, plead to the Father, "Into thy hands I commend my spirit." With the understanding that He had done everything that was required of Him, he collapsed on the cross and died - even for those that didn't want His gift. And just like some of those in this room, many choose not to accept the gift that was provided for them.

******

While I know myself as a creation of God, I am also obligated to realize and remember that everyone else and everything else are also God's creation. Maya Angelou

Multi-tasking*

Perhaps it is more of a female trait than a male one...though I have had the occasion to see my gender counter-parts handle it in smaller doses, but multi-tasking is a life long skill. In my day growing up, many girl children learned the skill in imitating 'mom' with house-hold chores. The 'before' better gadget's era included washing clothes, hanging them out to dry, ironing and starching where necessary. Hand washing and drying dishes, vacuming, sweeping, dusting, scrubbing bathrooms...you get the picture. Allowences came along several years later as a novel idea to encourage better work. In stern homes such as mine this was already taught as pride in effort.

Including this we go to school as part of our continuing education while the learning process hopefully pushes us down the path of a future career. Somewhere during these long years we juggle possibly sports, music, art, friendships and more. In it we once again should be learning how to be a wee bit proud of our efforts to the point of continuing the process till completed. Truth is, it's never done.

Somewhere in all of this we are suppose to fall in love and get married...having families of our own. Society has given us the choice of choosing otherwise. It actually appears to be somewhat easier if a person follows the marriage pathway both financially and productively. I have seen single people who have been successful in living alone, but with a great struggle, each time eventually winding up back at home with their parents. I know there are many out there otherwise, independant and strong. I just haven't been fortunate enough to see it last with any of my single acquaintances.

Why would anyone want to be single? Not everyone who is, does. Then again there are a few of us that do. For myself and those who are like me that I have had the pleasure of knowing, we've been there, done that with a very bad taste left in our mouths. Once burned, twice shy and really just not interested. We like to be alone. For myself...I am never alone as I am spiritual to an extreem. (Although I really don't push it on others.)

Back on topic...my career was a challenge for many years in order to fine tune the skill of multi-tasking needed for the job. Many secretaries know this all too well. Then again so do short order cooks, nurses, teachers...it really is part of most jobs. The further down the hill one is, the more it rolls towards them. The bigger the corporation one works for also increases the scope of responsibilities.

Then something creeps into our lives almost over night. That unwelcomed guest called 'change'.

(Aging.) While it is happening to us, it is equally occuring to all of those people in our lives. If you are fortuante enough to have your parents still alive, this means they are getting up in their years. Just as you have always been able to 'do' and now find some little inner objections to things...your parents are use to being independant. They too are finding that they need help with many daily things on a larger scheme. Remember all that pride we were learning in independance in order to succeed in life? OOoooo! It's grown really big and painful to deal with. Now it has a new name. Humility.

I'm not sure about anyone else...but sitting here past the 50 mark and looking back, my life looks like a choreography. I use to think it was a bunch of randome mistakes laced with luck swinging her wheel good or bad. Instead it looks like a purposeful road that has brought me to my present place in life. I have been having my first little dry run rehearsal's with care-taking in the past few years. The two people I wanted to hate each other when I was a teenager, I am now working at making sweeter.

My father get's around very slowly with the aide of a cane &/or scooter. He has the ear-marks of dementia added to his failing health. (He's been dying for about 40 years now, lol!) Having a birthday for him is easy. We pull it all together and bring it to him. My mother? Wellll... how can he get anything for her when the occasion asks for it?

Mom's birthday is Nov 30th. I ordered her favorite cake (carrot) and drove off to get it on the 30th. Just before I could 'go' my father toddled to me in a shy tone and asked what I was getting her. "Flowers." (Roses. Dad has never bought flowers for her as far as I know.)

"Do they cost more than $10.00?"

"No dad." I smiled being certain not to look down on his aging male authority in that smile. Not out of fear. Out of respect. He is my father. He handed me a ten. It made his day. (I left.)

The off white, blush roses were perfect. 40$/dozen in a vase with baby's breath. The same shop had the perfect card which spoke of the perfect companion and love felt towards her. 6$.

The cake was still being decorated. (Little tip*- specialty cakes are not frozen, but the freshest you can get ;)

When I arrived home I backed into the drive, as I had yet to go pick my grand-daughter up from school. My mother came out of the home & down the ramp to help me bring in what I'd bought.

(Thinking I'd gone grocery shopping.) She carried the roses in with the smile of a young woman. I followed with cake in tow and cards in my purse. Dad's eye's popped wide at seeing her with them...parading them around like a teenager in love. I busied her in the kitchen, handed him the card and went back to keep her busy.

Upon opening her card from 'him' and reading what it said & what he had written...she cried.

(Mom cries easy*)

I picked up my grand-child. Cooked supper for the children which will also be their supper tonight. (It's Christmas time! The grandchild's parents have a work party to attend.)

My son-in-law and daughter brought filipino fan-fare for a celebration. We had fresh pansit, siopo (pronounced show-pow; they are wonderful steamed buns filled with tender pork), shanghi's (tiny thin loompia's) BBQ pork ribs and carrot cake. Everyone sang 'Happy Birthday' with a mixture of names in the song. (Grandma, Great Grandma, Mom, Shirley.)

Dad melted into their 55 years of marriage thinking that was how old she was now. (72.) He get's those sweet confused looks on his face quite a bit in the evenings.

If you have kept up with my digression than you understand where I am at the end of my blog today.

We slide into roles in our life not knowing it is where we are headed as sure as the sun rises and sets. We learn to juggle only to hand the game over to those we have been with us during the journey. I can in no way care for my parents when they become invaled if either one ends their time in that way. I am physically unable due to disabilities. I have siblings...they have full lives. We are at a cross road in society where the aged which hold the most wisdom of past and future no longer remain in their own homes. Mine will stay here as long as humanly possible.

I will go to my own father in heaven with a clear conscious. Multi-tasking myself in so many ways more than I was first aware. On a spiritual level, aging with the knowledge that I just may pass on in a strange room, confused and alone (or so one would think). Not out of lack of love, but to be blamed on multi-tasking to survive. Which is exactly what I use to ask God for when I would pray as my own child grew. God please give my daughter someone to love. Someone that will love her back equally. Give her a family that will bring her comfort on that day when I say good-bye, until we meet again.

God Bless & keep you and yours*

The Value of Money & Time

It's good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it's good, too, to check up once in a while and make sure that you haven't lost the things that money can't buy. ~George

After waiting for over 3 years to prove to the government that I am truely disabled and can not be retrained into another job skill... Uncle Sam has to give you not only the monthly income you've finally qualified for, but also that which you should have been getting all along. Of course all of this is based on many factors including paying your lawyer's fee's. (Which by law are limited. In my area alone it is a maximun of approx 5,000 US dollars that can be charged. Not counting paper expenses that normally do not run over 100$.)

When I received my 'lump sum' I had only a few bills to pay off that I had acquired during my lengthy waiting period. I was fortunate* I'd had many kind connections that provided me with my almost 600$/month prescription bill and other needs. From that one is left with the amount needed to purchase items such as wheelchairs (another hurdle to pass in steps), lifts for the car and repairing versus purchasing a new vehicle. I was blessed also with a good 10 year old Saturn that needed very little maintenance.

Now I should have set the money aside. I should have budgeted, planned, forseen anything in my future including burial for that money. Truth is...money can not be entirely planned for. Anyone who has ever had a root canal done, car repair, older home to care for- must know that money has it's own idea on where it will go. The more family one is connected to, the further the circle affected by it spreads. (Unless that isn't a priority to you.)

Being a single parent I'd realized early on that I was 2 people. Mom and Dad. (A wise nurse had me list that I did not know who my childs parent 'was'.) The government is way to involved in private home matters as it is. Then again where crime is concerned, not enough.

My only child has come to me many times in her growing up with multiple needs. Why would I think that as an adult this would stop? It takes a hard heart to look at someone you love and deny them a true need* If the grown child is gambling, abusing drugs/alcohol, flaming skyclad all night and can't hold a job- then NO. Mine has a college degree, professional job with good history both work and financially, ethical, moral and contribuiting to society positively. I've learned the more sacrifices I make, the more secure her future has become.

So back on subject. (What was that again? lol!) The remaining lump sum of money*

I had missed out on quite a few moments over the years. Christmas was a major downfall for myself. Now I had the children of the family grown/growing up...and moving all over the country. Nieces, nephews, brothers...that ripple in the water just keeps growing. I've worked very hard over the years trying to make 'moments'. Memories* I have a very large heart in my soul and it has an endless hunger to give love. It is the biggest part of who I am. Family comes FIRST. I was planning the greatest family Christmas ever. My gift to them all.

Once it's spent, it can not come back. Or... can it?

My 15 year old niece opened up packages to her current love of life...asian. She had a celedon tea set, the wooden shoes, kimono, jewelry (nothing extravagant...but simple)...TON'S of asian.

My 9 year old nephew had aw COOL! stuff. A bat house. 4 ft black light. Puppet tarantula...more boy things than one could keep up with.

My grand-daughter opened a complete set of marrionet's and more.

22 year old soon to be wed niece-- hierloom glass tree ornaments in plush case.

20 year old nephew entering the air force. Complete under armor in black. Head to toe.

The adults had equal goodies. I had decided I wanted 'us' to give back to nature. We had butterfly houses, more bat houses, I can't remember the nature gifts being so many. Jars of fireflies, wooly orthopedic shoes, treasured books. The room glowed. Everyone felt treasured. Knowing what I was doing...making up for in myself... made it all the easier as each was a true gift of the heart. Nothing expected in return then or in the future.

I could have held on to that couple of grand. I could have put it in the bank and let it slowly grow...knowing it would get milked away through life's little surprises. That wouldn't be me.

Which is why I am certain I don't have a lot of money, nor ever will. You see... I don't need it as much as most. All I need is love*

Modern Fable*

This email shared with me can actually go for either gender*

Once upon a time there was this girl who had four boyfriends.She loved the 4th boyfriend the most and adored him with rich robes and treated him to the finest of delicacies. She gave him nothing but the best.She also loved the 3rd boyfriend very much and was always showing him off to neighboring kingdoms. However, she feared that one day he would leave her for another.She also loved her 2nd boyfriend. He was her confidant and was always kind, considerate and patient with her. Whenever this girl faced a problem, she could confide in him, and he would help her get through the difficult times.The girls 1st boyfriend was a very loyal partner and had made great contributions in maintaining her wealth and kingdom. However, she did not love the first boyfriend. Although he loved her deeply, she hardly took notice of him!One day, the girl fell ill and she knew her time was short. She thought of her luxurious life and wondered, I now have four boyfriends with me, but when I die, I'll be all alone." Thus, she asked the 4th boyfriend, "I loved you the most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No way!", replied the 4th boyfriend, and he walked away without another word.
His answer cut like a sharp knife right into her heart.The sad girl then asked the 3rd boyfriend, "I loved you all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company? ""No!", replied the 3rd boyfriend. "Life is too good! When you die, I'm going to marry someone else!"
Her heart sank and turned cold.She then asked the 2nd boyfriend, "I have always turned to you for help and you've always been there for me. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?""I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!", replied the 2ndboyfriend. "At the very most, I can only walk with you to your grave." His answer struck her like a bolt of lightning, and the girl was devastated.Then a voice called out: "I'll go with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go."The girl looked up, and there was her first boyfriend. He was veryskinny as he suffered from malnutrition and neglect.Greatly grieved, the girl said, "I should have taken much better care of you when I had the chance!"In truth, you have 4 boyfriends in your lives:

Your 4th boyfriend is your body. No matter how much time and effort you lavish in making it look good, it will leave you when you die.

Your 3rd boyfriend is your possessions, status and wealth. When you die, it will all go to others.

Your 2nd boyfriend is your family and friends. No matter how much they have been there for you, the furthest they can stay by you is up to the grave.And your 1st boyfriend is your Soul. Often neglected in pursuit of wealth, power and pleasures of the world. However, your Soul is the only thing that will follow you where ever you go. Cultivate, strengthen and cherish it now, for it is the only part of you that will follow you to the throne of God and continue with you throughout Eternity.

Thought for the day: Remember, when the world pushes you to your knees, you're in the perfect position to pray.

My lesson's learned...

One can find quirky little threads around the web about how much the world has changed since the 1950's. It gave me pause for another one of my rambling thoughts on what my families life taught me, and amazingly enough...they too have learned for the better. Hopefully this will have a ripple out effect for others benefit as well. (Also note that the way things were done 'back then' were not intended to be something negative but more a way of doing things as they had always been done.)

1.) Homework. When I came home from school I was suppose to sit on my bed and take care of my homework. Mom was generally cooking or cleaning...dad was at work. When he'd come home the world would revolve around him and if anyone spoke up otherwise there was hell to pay. Now as an adult people understand why my grades sucked. I've a learning disability or two.

(I am in no way saying people with dyslexia or other learning needs are dumb, stupid. On the contrary...I've read otherwise. ;) Now when the children come home it is a short break, then to the kitchen table where homework is a group effort. If one child is in a higher grade a little bit may rub off on the younger one. Where there is the younger the older child learns the patience and pride of helping them. The adults find out that the world is changing daily and it keeps the senior citizens mentally viable in the family unit. Everybody benifits, no one looses.

2.) Cooking. I was given one or two lessons...none that I can remember, and at around age 12 or younger was cooking for the family. Of course most of the time it stunk. (Makes one wonder what the heck the mother was doing all this time, eh? Hanging laundry out, starching it with the stuff in a bowl- not a can, and ironing. Dusting daily, mowing, weeding by hand- NOT weed-whacker tools...trimming bushes, waxing floors by hand AFTER mopping... we forget all of the wonderful conveniences we've acquired over 10 decades of time. ;) Now I am teaching children starting at age 6 albeit simple things...while also learning an appreciation and gaining skills. The ones more active with me are thin, and recently asked to taste the cauliflower from the steamer. My rule in the kitchen has been, 'if you help me cook it you have to taste a spoon of it'. A lot of attitudes and whining have gone the wayside. I'm not saying that they ask for a bowl of yellow-neck squash... but they at least try it. My youngest ~charge~ eats fried yellow neck squash, salads, green beans, raw brocoli, raw carrot sticks, celery sticks, and every fruit on this planet OVER the option of candy.

3.) Anger. Oh is this one fun. It is my work in progress. I believe all emotions are a natural occurance for everyone. How we deal with them is a whole other issue. My parents raised me thinking that anger = respect. Actually it = fear which grows into resentment which holds a whole lot more anger and hurt underneath. Some of us grow up eating it daily and learning that is all one can do. Am I blaming anger for obesity? A little bit. Actually a lot. I'd always dreamed as a child that growing up was suppose to be fun. We were suppose to be able to play. After all... we were children.

As an adult I get angry. I hate it. If I could find the little gland inside the human body responsible for it I'd rip it out myself. BUT anger is a good tool I am told. The only good thing it has done for me personally is help get household chores done very well. Other than that it's like putting blinders on until the steam clears. I don't think children should have to deal with an adults anger...yet I do believe the adult should help the child learn the healthy way to work through the emotion. I do not, nor have I ever doled out punishment to a child during my anger. I have let the child know I am mad (in a Bill Cosby sort of way)...and punishment will follow. I have spanked. The ONLY times I have spanked are when the child has endangered their own or someone elses safety/life. The rest of the time it has been restriction from things enjoyed or reward with the things that the children enjoy. I don't believe in paying a child beyond an allowance while at the same time believe an allowence should be earned. No one gave me the money I've worked for and I have to budget for our survival & fun. We can play, but we have to learn life has it's serious moments and deal with it. Anger tends to have a great deal of (chewing) eating crow within a 50/50 ratio on who does the dining.  Another factor in anger is that when 2 argue, there are at least 3 sides to the story behind it. Each person's point of view and the truth separate from them. We have to be reminded that in all disagreements when we feel anger-- we are only seeing our own point of reference to 'it'. That is until we get over it and open our blinders. The wider the better. Children need to learn the art of compromise...which can become funny/annoying afterwards. That's what it's all about though. Exploring, learning and growing

4.) Compassion* If I am sick...if you are sick... I will try to help you feel better without actually 'catching it' myself. IMPO the most successful person is the most compassionate. How else can you understand another soul? Children have to be taught compassion. It is not a natural feeling for them. The biggest issue that children deal with even on a subconscious level is security. Many of the reason's they act out is not for attention as much as they hollar or yell for it. They need the security that you are always there. This world is filled with couples divorcing or 1/2 of the relationship having never been in the child's picture to begin with. They will gravitate most towards those people that have compassion for them... although it is not what they always need. Sometimes strength comes in the form of lack of compassion. One has to know the subtle differences between the two. It runs along the line of homework. How can you be close to your own child if you don't know them? If you are the type that talks more than listens then know for certain that your child and everyone else knows you real well. But do you know them? On their ground? I come from a time when children were to be seen and not heard. My oldest brother and I were remarked on every time our family visited someone. We always said Yes sir, no sir...yes mam, no mam AND we sat with our hands folded in our laps.

Beware of raising puppets. You never know what nightmares they may get into...and then how can you reverse it when you don't know who you're dealing with?

PLAY with your children. Don't have time? Ever hear the song 'Cats in the Craddle'? (By Cat Stephens.) A very honest song that I highly recommend. Teach compassion.

This is an awful lot, so I suppose I will close with a neat little set of lessons put in a short verse that I'd stumbled on when my own daughter was a child.

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.
Copyright © 1972 by Dorothy Law Nolte

Evolution of Cave Man to Search Engines

Most females in the US today are currently shopping for those 'After Thanksgiving Day' sales. This one is recouping and pondering. (My most dangerous digressive mode.)

I had one blow up battle with the undiagnosed, untreated patriarch of the family before everyone arrived. This has added to my bliss as he is no longer talking to me. (Remember this any of you mental game players out there. Sometimes 'we' enjoy the silent, ~I don't see you~ treatment. We get a break from YOU.

It has made me wonder in the most humorous of ways, where mental illness comes from and how to be rid of it.

I don't know how far back in time it goes, although the Bible mentions it in the kings of Egypt as with Herod and various others. Of course there is the equivalent for the balance of King Saul in the old testament. He's the dude that kept chasing David all over God's green earth while trying to kill him. Hmm... maybe we should bring back the lute? Naaa...somehow I don't see Bush listening to lute playing no matter how pacifying it may be. He's not a peaceful kind of guy.

Which brings me to one factor in mental illness. Chemical or hormonal* You know...things have changed a whole lot since the old cave-man and woman were slumping around the back-yard.

In 'the day' we had nothing but survival to worry about. That makes a huge difference. Maybe this is where we've gone wrong. How can we bring back those releases for the human psyche in a modern world today? I bet there were no overweight cave people...right? (Just don't touch my chocolate while slimming me down with fresh venison. I bite!)

But seriously here a moment. We can't go back to basic survival for modern man. It works to a point with military people. I mean...the one's that actually 'get it' through the training period. It's like a hierarchic thing where the pack has a bit more respect for the Commander in Chief whether he thumps his chest or... you know...

And it's not just the men that have to put their two cents worth in. Ladies do it too...seemingly with much more vim and vinegar today than the majority of our mothers day. Independence has seen to that. (No to mention Uncle Sam likes the double family digit income to tax better than the single one, eh?)

So how do we release all of that chemical stuff in the best way which would keep family units together and bring a more sane society around? Why can't we have mandatory training beginning in school? I'm not saying like the soviet union did all those years ago with the babies up. Instead of physical education being so much of a competitive sport ONLY, one with more of a simper-fi edge to it...no one left behind? Today's way of dealing with our over-weight peers is to send a note home to parents telling them Your child does not meet the bmx guidelines for weight. No duh! So line up all of the politicians/their family members...anyone over-weight connected to this bird-brained idea and make them deal with the issue publicly FIRST. Crikey!

Isn't the more 'civilized' mature way of dealing with a problem helping? I agree with starting while they are young...but there are ton's of us old examples shuffling by without the answer but with a fattened market on what doesn't work long term. The verdict isn't in entirely yet on the old stapling/band method either. Ever met someone it didn't work with? God bless those of you it did help* But let's not keep shoving the problem under the carpet and pretending it doesn't exist for those it didn't help yet hurt more. Not to mention the 'plan' isn't entirely fixed until they include a way for corrective surgery to be included in the process as part of the 'cure'.

I digressed, didn't I? So back to the hormones and chemical aides. I'd like to see more help along the line of starting young and while we're at it...giving them more to work with. Rock climbing. Bet I lost you with that insert.

No, we can't ship all school age children out to the mountains. We can bring the mountain to Muhammad though. ;) Start small and grow up bigger, if you get my meaning. While we're at it I think more play would be a good idea. "Oh...my baby will get hurt!" Get over the scrapped knees a bit. It's good to let them learn how to not panic and instead handle the little bumps in life. If it's major that's another thing...but still teach CALM. Put the emphases where it benefits* What child doesn't like a little lazer tag? What grown up for that matter! lol!

And some things in the classroom can go for a little virtual reality. As long as the child meets the health issue requirements so that seizures are not created instead of imaginations, why not? Isn't that where great things come from?

(This by the way is an actual reality.)

I suppose I don't have all the answers while instead I'm loaded with many more questions. It would make more sense to me if we didn't treat everyone as though we should all be clones to one idea, more of how we can all compliment each other by working together. Which is what I will be doing sometime later today. After the mully-grubs decides to join us all when he is through punishing us.

Synchronicity, Jung and Jesus.

First let me make it known that I am in no way comparing Jung to Christ, nor in the slightest of inclinations suggesting one is a reincarnation of the other.

I am not a big lover of psychiatry...(lol, maybe I should be), but I think Carl Jung had his finger on the pulse of something very important about the human experience in reference to sheer exsistance on this level. He has been followed by examples such as Dick Sutphen and other researchers of the psychi. Not being certain about other readers then I will remain in the 1st person with my lengthy point. I personally have noted such strong similarities from diverse belief systems (as that is what they truely are)... these could very well be a form of synchronicity and the beating of the moths wings, only against the illuminated dark of the candle flame. The odd barrier for the practicing of any faith would be the animosity between them instead of uniting together on their similarites.

Why can one religion which touts the 'Tower of Bable' not grasp that religion is very much in relation with the language between cultures/religions? Ex: As you reap so shall you sow. or karma and layman's term what comes around goes around? On earth as it is in heaven...As above, so below. There are loads of wonderful references across the web for anyone wishing to explore. I.E. http://www.collegewicca.com/wiccafiles/christianwicca.html How can we know more about our own belief without understanding another's? That doesn't mean you have to become a traitor to yourself. I've noticed this thread continuing even into the expression of art. Notice the race of Jesus in many paintings, even historical renditions. What race is he portrayed as? Middle-eastern, his origins or caucasion? Then note the coloration chosen for the Hindu God, Ram. A white Indian? Where did these two originate in true racial origin?

The biggest obstacle in religious peace is not any noted difference, as that is a matter of individual interpretation. It is fear, hate or ignorance. When someone hands me a book and tells me that I have to accept it as the ONLY truth... I'm going to question the person at least inwardly. I will research the book as to it's origins from more than one historical source. There are many versions of The Bible... I prefer King James from the year 1611. BUT I have also read the LOST books which King James did not allow to be listed, including the Agrippa which at one time was a part of the Catholic Bible. And while I'm on the word catholic let me interject that I also do not condemn a whole group for the sins of the wicked. The old Testament is the basis of the New Testament. SO one should understand it and the prophecies within in order to understand the other. (If you are Christian.) This does not mean condemn the Jewish nation nor even think they are going to 'hell'. Do I believe in hell? Oh yes...it is a very real 'place'. Who goes there? I would think that would be up to the souls choice. WHAT? What did I just write?! (I am loads of fun, he-he-he...but I am not writing 'evil'. Oh yes... and evil spelled backwards = LIVE. So polish up on the old Kabbalah in regards to energy & the flow of the soul...but please. Don't mess with the serpent's fire...the kundalini. Not without a very professional teacher. Otherwise you will be sitting where I am. That's a whole other tale to tell.) And now you have met me and perhaps understand why my blog is named Meditative Digressions. I am an adult version of attention deficit in it's truest forms. Oh LOOK! A cat! he-he-he. Remember the moth's wings. ;) It's important. Stephanie

Being alone...

One of the hardest things for my family members to understand about me is my tendancy to gravitate to this corner of the world and sit alone. I do so for hours on end at a time. Other times with my disability I am not able to and need to lay down for brief periods.

My attraction towards the computer fills the missing gap of multi tasking which I had done for so many years before now. I could maintain 4 phone lines, 20+ patient call lights, sometimes 40+, answer questions from visitors, patients, doctors and or nurses face to face and transcribe the physician's orders all at the same time. I will admit that it took me a few years to polish it into a professional skill without raging brain syndrome. In those years I received the usual Employee of the Month awards as well as the being the first non-nurse to receive the prized yearly award for Employee Excellence at my particular location. I worked my full figure out in a gym, took almost daily walks lasting well over an hour each and ate a healthy diet. Then one day...I passed the 40 year mark.

I use to believe it was just women that ticked off the calendar of years their lives traversed, but have become aware it is a cross gender reality. Birds at a distance in the sky looked like two artists where one was actually soaring. I had to ask occasionally for people to repeat what they were saying. Little things at home slipped my mind. But...I'm only 40. 41,...42... and people praised me for looking as good as I did for 'my age'. 43...44... and at 45 I went into a birthday panic keeping up with those 10 to 15 years my junior at a nightclub celebration. We can lie to ourselves all we want, but the body won't buy it.

The dentist shook his head and rescheduled return appointments to 'fix' more things as I brushed and flossed in an OCD manner with no results. Hindsight tells me the baking soda and or hydrogen peroxide added their tally to the mark while fattening the dental hygenist's pocket.

The physical now demanded by my job/health provider had surprising results in the blood work. One pill... two pills...another one and more? 10 years later I take over 10 prescriptions each day. That's one for each year!

One thing lead to another and here I sit. There's much more to the story of course, but one has to bring the reader up rather than destroy the point.

I find myself making friends while keeping in touch with a couple from my work days. At first I thought that it would be a nightmare moving back home with my parents. For myself and them. Instead we have all preserveered and mended many a broken fence. They do not take care of me entirely nor I them all of the time. My mother and I share the cooking, making meals more enjoyable for all. With part of my SSI I have provided dish-TV for my parents which has been a God-send for my father. His health plummeted just before I returned home. I searched online with each complaint he has had and purchased those things that have helped him.

We live in a rural area where cattle and farm mix with suburbia. Our postal box is about a block or more from the home along with the news box. I try to fetch it for them in the wee hours of the morning and put the coffee on. If the house gets cold in the night I bump up the heat. (It is not on in my room. I am quite the adaptable person.)

This Thanksgiving (we are not traditional, but we are family*)... I am preparing the dinner for all 4 families which make up our 1 with the help of the family children. Friends have also been invited. I found a Butterball turkey that weighed in over 20lbs, a spiral cut honey baked ham and loads of other things for the meal. It is a special one as the patriarch (my father) is continually getting more feeble. We don't know how long he will be with us. My daughter is pregnant with the 1st great-grandson, her second child. The 1st grandson goes to Iraq in January (son of my oldest brother- who is also moving away.) AND the second grand-daughter is moving away with her military husband...newly married, no children as of yet.

It will be a busy time with all of the changes. Then the world will seem to stop for a breather. After which we will have spring and I will have a new grandson to care for along with my sweet 7 year old grand-daughter.

Do I like being alone with the computer?

You bet!