Contagious Emotions or Biblical Teachings?

Crazy morning. I hate drama. Drama-drama-drama. I had to google a theory which I've held for a few decades now. Emotions are contagious. Are they? Why? Can't we be more...you know,... unique? (lol)

'The Washington Post' ( http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/05/29/AR2006052900757.html ) has an excellent, intriguing article on this very topic. What made me finally decide to tickle google's fancy with another click?

I keep my grand-daughter after school. Anyone who has watched over children for a length of time realizes that communication skills are somewhat confusing from them. What happens when they are away from you, conveyed in their own language to you can leave a lot to be desired. (Sanity for one;)

Briana's 2nd grade teacher is absent quite a bit. She is a seasoned teacher with many years of experience under her belt and the age to prove it. Her husband has been in and out of the hospital with various problems to which she must be present for. (I would too*) We hear about how upsetting 'her home' is from Briana all the time. Meaning she must talk about it to the class just as much. (Out of the mouth of babes, Briana is tired of hearing about it.)

The class is also much smaller than mine or my daughters ever were. 17 students. I've always said that school bus drivers and teachers get my vote, as I find it difficult caring for ONE at times. Always have.

This morning we find among Bri's papers a memographed note stating that an extensive work which makes up most of the children's grade is due. Nothing else comes with this note, other than an explanation of a writing about home life and the mention of a spiral bound book. Where's this spiral bound book? (15 minutes to bus time and nerves are starting to edge up.)

I'm cooking breakfast for everyone and putting a hot/cold lunch together for Bri. It is half-day...meaning I drive to pick her up in just a few hours, then Christmas vacation begins. The teacher was out again yesterday, and today also. (More surgery.)

Now a slight digression. My daughter is an Aries/Tiger. To be precise...she is a redneck. ;)

Back on topic. 'Mom's...blood pressure is climbing. She has already written a note to the teacher and received NO response. The conversation around the table includes calling the principle, the TV station and school board. (Did I mention that I don't like drama?)

I am the 'new ager' in the group. (An irritant pacifist to most.) I try earnestly to be politically correct while supporting everyone's right's, the people in the military, all religious views be they mine or other-wise, ya-de-ya-de-ya-da. Ever make a tiger angry? Not a pretty sight.

I mentioned something about being cautious with ones energy and remembering that all things affect everything, and included 'karma' in the attempt to calm.

Drawing a nub back I vowed not to be angry, and did not allow a nano-second of the emotion to touch me. (Yet)...I looked suspiciously around the kitchen knowing full well that a dark cloud had been deposited much like a nuclear fall out cloud right where I live. I went with everyone to get children on the bus with lunch in hand...mommy's and daddy's off to work, and returned to my parents home to clean up the morning mess. While doing so I must check my blood sugar before eating. I have not 1, but 2 new machine's and kits to choose from THIS morning.

I pull out box # 1 and assemble the supplies. Hmmm...funny. No sticks to put my blood on.

That's okay, because I have TWO kits. (Smiling to myself.) Put up #1 items and pull out #2's.

No battery. That's cool too...just take the battery out of my old kit I've been using and put it in the new one. Okay...now...sugar sticks. (I know they're here some where.) Sugar sticks.

I can NOT belive this. ... Everyone has had breakfast except for me...I have NO more money to even BUY sugar sticks to CHECK my *@#*$(%^&@ sugar till the 3rd of next month and these kit's that have everything have NO SUGAR STICKS!!!!! Breathe.... Stop... let go...

Damn nuclear fall out.

Waiting for Christmas...

Matthew 21:33-46 (King James Version)

33Hear another parable: There was a certain householder, which planted a vineyard, and hedged it round about, and digged a winepress in it, and built a tower, and let it out to husbandmen, and went into a far country:
34And when the time of the fruit drew near, he sent his servants to the husbandmen, that they might receive the fruits of it.
35And the husbandmen took his servants, and beat one, and killed another, and stoned another.
36Again, he sent other servants more than the first: and they did unto them likewise.
37But last of all he sent unto them his son, saying, They will reverence my son.
38But when the husbandmen saw the son, they said among themselves, This is the heir; come, let us kill him, and let us seize on his inheritance.
39And they caught him, and cast him out of the vineyard, and slew him.
40When the lord therefore of the vineyard cometh, what will he do unto those husbandmen?
41They say unto him, He will miserably destroy those wicked men, and will let out his vineyard unto other husbandmen, which shall render him the fruits in their seasons.
42Jesus saith unto them, Did ye never read in the scriptures, The stone which the builders rejected, the same is become the head of the corner: this is the Lord's doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes?
43Therefore say I unto you, The kingdom of God shall be taken from you, and given to a nation bringing forth the fruits thereof.
44And whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder.
45And when the chief priests and Pharisees had heard his parables, they perceived that he spake of them.
46But when they sought to lay hands on him, they feared the multitude, because they took him for a prophet.

There are of course, several interpretations for this parable as with many parts of the Bible. Some say that the 'far off place' may be heaven. What if this were a story read today...current time? All parts of the holy scriptures being true, are true to the ends of time...are they not? Meaning that the interpretations shouldn't be connected to one focal point alone.

My reason for bringing this up is only to cause one to think a moment...not put anyone on the defense.

I have recently been reading the book, 'The Name of the Rose'. The movie version left me with several questions, not to mention it focused way too much on the sensationalism of the sexual scene. I am grateful for the moment to have the book in order to get a better grasp of the time period as well as subject matter. In the 'novel'...the lead role speaks a great deal (as a monk) on various religious interpretations. The ones that stood out for myself were in regards to Revelations. I had always been 'taught'- that the referral to the beast with seven heads and ten horns was in regards to specific nations*

Revelation 17:3 So he carried me away in the spirit into the wilderness: and I saw a woman sit upon a scarlet coloured beast, full of names of blasphemy, having seven heads and ten horns.

In the novel, however... the interpretation made much more sense, stating the numbers were in regards to the seven deadly sins and ten commandments.

I have been told by other street philosophers that many novels of fiction carry important truths if one but looks with an open mind. Not meaning that I take novels to be 'holy'. Just merely pointing out that 'truth'...is in the eye of the beholder. Just like beauty, eh? *Chuckles*

So I will end today's meandurings with a few quotes.

"The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention…. A loving silence often has far more power to heal and to connect than the most well-intentioned words." ~Rachel Naomi Remen.

"In the attitude of silence the soul finds the path in an clearer light, and what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness. Our life is a long and arduous quest after Truth." ~Mahatma Gandhi

"You can hear the footsteps of God when silence reigns in the mind." ~Sri Sathya Sai Baba

Fruitcake*

All of the jokes aside, what we know of as fruitcake today has a long history in several countries. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fruit_cake#History My own personal prediction is that it will fade into the history books by the next generation...in the United States at least. I've not been witness to any of those born after my own time period that didn't wince at the mention of it.

My first recollections of this treat were around my own Christmas times. My mother's recipe came from the old worn 'Better Homes and Garden Cookbook, with a few alterations. Now on the 3rd generation it has been fine tuned to my own liking. The cool thing is that mom and dad love what I've done.

After Mom, my grandmother would make her own. They fit perfectly into the tins she'd found for them. She would pour her choice of alcohol on them, seal them up and let them marinate for a year. Years later after her death we discovered why that age old tradition died out...(hopefully not why grandma did, j/k.) Several tins were found in cleaning out her home with moldy marinater's. There may have been a new medical discovery in there somewhere...but we opted for tossing them out.

Sugar is a good preservative for fruits and their peels when prepared correctly. Best left to manufactors these days...yet time may bring back the necessity one day for rediscovering many ways of preserving food that have gone forgotten by the average household. If this occur's then so too will the rediscovery of how sinfully rich this 'treat' really is.

Here is my recipe*

Preheat oven to 325 degree's.

Using 1/4 stick of softened butter, generously grease 1 tube pan. Set aside.

2 bowls are best* (1 very large.)

In the large bowl add...

1+1/2 cups candied cherries whole

1 cup white/red/dark raisins

1 cup candied pineapple chunks

2 cups candied 'citron'. (Various citrus peels sugary sweet.)

1 package chopped dates

1+1/2 cup chopped pecans

Stir together.

Add 1 cup bread flour, stirring well. Incorrporating flour into the sticky mixture will cause it to remain dispursed in the cake and not let it all sink to the bottom...though with this recipe it would be hard to tell, lol!

In the second bowl whisk together 2 sticks softened butter with

1 cup of granulated sugar. When well blended whisk in

4 eggs, one at a time. Now whisk in

1/2 cup apricot nectar and

1/4 cup kayro (clear) syrup. After this is well blended add

2 cups bread flour and incorporate well. Then add your spices...

1 tsp cinnamon (Ceylon where available)

1/2 tsp fresh grated nutmeg (can substitute already ground)

1/2 tsp fresh grated or ground ginger

1/4 tsp ground cloves.

Add this creamed mixture to the fruits/nuts mixture, making certain to mix it well so that there are no 'dry flour patches'.

Pour mixture into buttered tube pan.

Arrange more nuts and whole fruits into a pattern on top of batter.

In a cup mix together 1/4 cup apricot nectar and 1/4 cup kayro syrup till blended. Use a pastry or clean BBQ brush to cover the nuts & fruits with this mixture till you've used the entire 1/2 cup. It will have standing liquid on top.

Place into preheated oven and cook approximatly 1 hour. Loosely lay a sheet of aluminum foil on top of cake and return to oven. Turn heat down to 250 degrees for an additional hour to hour and a half, or till well browned and aroma is filling the house. (Non fruit-cake lovers will like this smell as well.)

It is best to let the cake cool in pan before using a knife to loosen edge and turn out. Have your pattern side up on plate. Slice carefully with sereated knife* The whole fruit in the cake makes a lovely presentation* (The nuts don't handle as well when cutting whole inside the cake. Outside you can deal with much easier.)

I do not add alcohol to mine...though a tsp or two of rum extract into the batter may have the same affect.

The Silver Refiner

"There was a group of women in a Bible study on the book of Malachi. As they were studying chapter three they came across verse three which says, "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver." This verse puzzled the women and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God.
One of the women offered to find out about the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible study. That week the woman called up a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest in silver beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver. As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that, in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest so as to burn away all the impurities.
The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot - then she thought again about the verse, that He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver. She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined. The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. For if the silver was left even a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.
The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?" He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's the easy part -- when I see my image reflected in it."
Remember that God is the one who created us, male and female, in God's own image.

Next find the passage in the Bible and read it in context. (Malachi 3:2b-4)... with "judgment and accountability for priests." "He will purify the sons of Levi." The "sons of Levi" aka the "Levites" are the priestly clan of Israel. Clearly this is directed at priests. There is a particular responsibility that goes along with being a priest - a servant-leader in a religious community. But was is this really aimed just at the priests? In the Christian understanding all the followers of Jesus, the Christ, are priests. "What?" you say. Yes, you see, we are all part of the "priesthood of all believers."

1 Peter 1 (King James Version)

1 Peter, an apostle of Jesus Christ, to the strangers scattered throughout Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia, and Bithynia,

2 Elect according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, through sanctification of the Spirit, unto obedience and sprinkling of the blood of Jesus Christ: Grace unto you, and peace, be multiplied.

3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, which according to his abundant mercy hath begotten us again unto a lively hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,

4 To an inheritance incorruptible, and undefiled, and that fadeth not away, reserved in heaven for you,

5 Who are kept by the power of God through faith unto salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.

6 Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations:

7 That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:

8 Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory:

9 Receiving the end of your faith, even the salvation of your souls.

10 Of which salvation the prophets have enquired and searched diligently, who prophesied of the grace that should come unto you:

11 Searching what, or what manner of time the Spirit of Christ which was in them did signify, when it testified beforehand the sufferings of Christ, and the glory that should follow.

12 Unto whom it was revealed, that not unto themselves, but unto us they did minister the things, which are now reported unto you by them that have preached the gospel unto you with the Holy Ghost sent down from heaven; which things the angels desire to look into.

13 Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end for the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ;

14 As obedient children, not fashioning yourselves according to the former lusts in your ignorance:

15 But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation;

16 Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy.

17 And if ye call on the Father, who without respect of persons judgeth according to every man's work, pass the time of your sojourning here in fear:

18 Forasmuch as ye know that ye were not redeemed with corruptible things, as silver and gold, from your vain conversation received by tradition from your fathers;

19 But with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot:

20 Who verily was foreordained before the foundation of the world, but was manifest in these last times for you,

21 Who by him do believe in God, that raised him up from the dead, and gave him glory; that your faith and hope might be in God.

22 Seeing ye have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit unto unfeigned love of the brethren, see that ye love one another with a pure heart fervently:

23 Being born again, not of corruptible seed, but of incorruptible, by the word of God, which liveth and abideth for ever.

24 For all flesh is as grass, and all the glory of man as the flower of grass. The grass withereth, and the flower thereof falleth away:

25 But the word of the Lord endureth for ever. And this is the word which by the gospel is preached unto you.

So, you are a priest, too.
Which means this parable is for you, too. The implication of this story is that God judges us and holds us accountable for his love and commitment to us and to us becoming the best versions of ourselves that we can possibly be.
God sits patiently enduring the heat right along with each and every one of us, handling us carefully, always intently watching the progress of being refined, of getting closer and closer to the point where, eventually, in looking at us, God clearly sees the reflection of His own image in us.

Two Natures*

“The Legend of the Two Wolves “
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son, the battle is between two "wolves" inside us all.
One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?"
The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."
Perhaps we should all take a moment and reflect on which wolf we are feeding – like when men in power use war to promote peace and televangelists are calling for assassinations. The legend lives in all of us who choose to recognize and feed it.

Merry Christmas*

Remembering the reason for the season*

This video is too large to embed here...so I am giving you the direct link. It contains extreemly graphic photo's with a very emotional message.

http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v316/beachmouse/VideoClips/?action=view&current=MaryDidYouKnow.flv

The Pushup Parable*

The Push-ups Parable*

There was a boy by the name of Steve who was attending school in Utah. Brother Christianson taught at this particular school. He had an open-door policy and would take in any student that had been thrown out of another class as long as they would abide by his rules. Steve had been kicked out of his sixth period and no other teacher wanted him, so he went into Brother Christianson's class. Steve was told that he could not be late, so he arrived just seconds before the bell rang and he would sit in the very back of the room. He would also be the first to leave after the class was over. One day, Brother Christianson asked Steve to stay after class so he could talk with him. After class, Bro. Christianson pulled Steve aside and said, "You think you're pretty tough, don't you?" Steve's answer was, "Yeah, I do." Then Brother Christianson asked, "How many push-ups can you do?" Steve said, "I do about 200 every night." "200? That's pretty good, Steve," Brother Christianson said. "Do you think you could do 300?" Steve replied, "I don't know... I've never done 300 at a time." "Do you think you could?" Again asked Brother Christianson. "Well, I can try," said Steve. "Can you do 300 in sets of 10? I need you to do 300 in sets of ten for this to work. Can you do it? I need you to tell me you can do it," Brother Christianson said. Steve said, "Well... I think I can... yeah, I can do it." Brother Christianson said, "Good! I need you to do this on Friday." Friday came and Steve got to class early and sat in the front of the room. When class started, Brother Christianson pulled out a big box of donuts. Now these weren't the normal kinds of donuts, they were the extra fancy BIG kind, with cream centers and frosting swirls. Everyone was pretty excited-it was Friday, the last class of the day, and they were going to get an early start on the weekend. Bro. Christianson went to the first girl in the first row and asked, "Cynthia, do you want a donut?" Cynthia said, "Yes." Bro. Christianson then turned to Steve and asked, "Steve, would you do ten push-ups so that Cynthia can have a donut?" Steve said, "Sure," and jumped down from his desk to do a quick ten. Then Steve again sat in his desk. Bro. Christianson put a donut on Cynthia's desk. Bro. Christianson then went to Joe, the next person, and asked, "Joe do you want a donut?" Joe said, "Yes." Bro. Christianson asked, "Steve would you do ten push-ups so Joe can have a donut?" Steve did ten push-ups, Joe got a donut. And so it went, down the first aisle, Steve did ten pushups for every person before they got their donut. And down the second aisle, till Bro. Christianson came to Scott. Scott was captain of the football team and center of the basketball team. He was very popular and never lacking for female companionship. When Bro. Christianson asked, "Scott do you want a donut?" Scott's reply was, "Well, can I do my own pushups?" Bro. Christianson said, "No, Steve has to do them." Then Scott said, "Well, I don't want one then." Bro. Christianson then turned to Steve and asked "Steve, would you do ten pushups so Scott can have a donut he doesn't want?" Steve started to do ten pushups. Scott said, "HEY! I said I didn't want one!" Bro. Christianson said, "Look, this is my classroom, my class, my desks, and my donuts. Just leave it on the desk if you don't want it." And he put a donut on Scott's desk. Now by this time, Steve had begun to slow down a little. He just stayed on the floor between sets because it took too much effort to be getting up and down. You could start to see a little perspiration coming out around his brow. Bro. Christianson started down the third row. Now the students were beginning to get a little angry. Bro. Christianson asked Jenny, "Jenny, do you want a donut?" Jenny said, "No." Then Bro. Christianson asked Steve, "Steve, would you do ten pushups so Jenny can have a donut that she doesn't want?" Steve did ten, Jenny got a donut. By now, the students were beginning to say "No" and there were all these uneaten donuts on the desks. Steve was also having to really put forth a lot of effort to get these pushups done for each donut. There began to be a small pool of sweat on the floor beneath his face, his arms and brow were beginning to get red because of the physical effort involved. Bro. Christianson asked Robert to watch Steve to make sure he did ten pushups in a set because he couldn't bear to watch all of Steve's work for all of those uneaten donuts. So Robert began to watch Steve closely. Bro. Christianson started down the fourth row. During his class, however, some students had wandered in and sat along the heaters located on the sides of the room. When Bro. Christianson realized this; he did a quick count and saw 34 students in the room. He started to worry if Steve would be able to make it. Bro. Christianson went on to the next person and the next and the next. Near the end of that row, Steve was really having a rough time. He was taking a lot more time to complete each set. Steve asked Bro. Christianson, "Do I have to make my nose touch on each one?" Bro. Christianson thought for a moment, "Well, they're your pushups.. You can do them any way that you want." And Bro. Christianson went on. A few moments later, Jason came to the room and was about to come in when all the students yelled, "NO! Don't come in! Stay out!" Jason didn't know what was going on. Steve picked up his head and said, "No, let him come in." Bro. Christianson said, "You realize that if Jason comes in you will have to do ten pushups for him." Steve said, "Yes, let him come in." Bro. Christianson said, "Okay, I'll let you get Jason's out of the way right now. Jason, do you want a donut?" "Yes." "Steve, will you do ten pushups so that Jason can have a donut?" Steve did ten pushups very slowly and with great effort. Jason, bewildered, was handed a donut and sat down. Bro. Christianson finished the fourth row, then started among those seated on the heaters. Steve's arms were now shaking with each pushup in a struggle to lift himself against the force of gravity. Sweat was dropping off of his face and, by this time, there was not a dry eye in the room. The very last two girls in the room were cheerleaders and very popular. Bro. Christianson went to Linda, the second to last, and asked, "Linda, do you want a doughnut? Linda said, very sadly, "No, thank you." Bro. Christianson asked Steve, "Steve, would you do ten pushups so that Linda can have a donut she doesn't want?" Grunting from the effort, Steve did ten very slow pushups for Linda.. Then Bro. Christianson turned to the last girl, Susan. "Susan, do you want a donut?" Susan, with tears flowing down her face, asked, "Bro. Christianson, can I help him?" Bro. Christianson, with tears of his own, said, "No, he has to do it alone, Steve, would you do ten pushups so Susan can have a donut?" As Steve very slowly finished his last pushup, with the understanding that he had accomplished all that was required of him, having done 350 pushups, his arms buckled beneath him and he fell to the floor. Brother Christianson turned to the room and said. "And so it was, that our Savior, Jesus Christ, plead to the Father, "Into thy hands I commend my spirit." With the understanding that He had done everything that was required of Him, he collapsed on the cross and died - even for those that didn't want His gift. And just like some of those in this room, many choose not to accept the gift that was provided for them.

******

While I know myself as a creation of God, I am also obligated to realize and remember that everyone else and everything else are also God's creation. Maya Angelou

Multi-tasking*

Perhaps it is more of a female trait than a male one...though I have had the occasion to see my gender counter-parts handle it in smaller doses, but multi-tasking is a life long skill. In my day growing up, many girl children learned the skill in imitating 'mom' with house-hold chores. The 'before' better gadget's era included washing clothes, hanging them out to dry, ironing and starching where necessary. Hand washing and drying dishes, vacuming, sweeping, dusting, scrubbing bathrooms...you get the picture. Allowences came along several years later as a novel idea to encourage better work. In stern homes such as mine this was already taught as pride in effort.

Including this we go to school as part of our continuing education while the learning process hopefully pushes us down the path of a future career. Somewhere during these long years we juggle possibly sports, music, art, friendships and more. In it we once again should be learning how to be a wee bit proud of our efforts to the point of continuing the process till completed. Truth is, it's never done.

Somewhere in all of this we are suppose to fall in love and get married...having families of our own. Society has given us the choice of choosing otherwise. It actually appears to be somewhat easier if a person follows the marriage pathway both financially and productively. I have seen single people who have been successful in living alone, but with a great struggle, each time eventually winding up back at home with their parents. I know there are many out there otherwise, independant and strong. I just haven't been fortunate enough to see it last with any of my single acquaintances.

Why would anyone want to be single? Not everyone who is, does. Then again there are a few of us that do. For myself and those who are like me that I have had the pleasure of knowing, we've been there, done that with a very bad taste left in our mouths. Once burned, twice shy and really just not interested. We like to be alone. For myself...I am never alone as I am spiritual to an extreem. (Although I really don't push it on others.)

Back on topic...my career was a challenge for many years in order to fine tune the skill of multi-tasking needed for the job. Many secretaries know this all too well. Then again so do short order cooks, nurses, teachers...it really is part of most jobs. The further down the hill one is, the more it rolls towards them. The bigger the corporation one works for also increases the scope of responsibilities.

Then something creeps into our lives almost over night. That unwelcomed guest called 'change'.

(Aging.) While it is happening to us, it is equally occuring to all of those people in our lives. If you are fortuante enough to have your parents still alive, this means they are getting up in their years. Just as you have always been able to 'do' and now find some little inner objections to things...your parents are use to being independant. They too are finding that they need help with many daily things on a larger scheme. Remember all that pride we were learning in independance in order to succeed in life? OOoooo! It's grown really big and painful to deal with. Now it has a new name. Humility.

I'm not sure about anyone else...but sitting here past the 50 mark and looking back, my life looks like a choreography. I use to think it was a bunch of randome mistakes laced with luck swinging her wheel good or bad. Instead it looks like a purposeful road that has brought me to my present place in life. I have been having my first little dry run rehearsal's with care-taking in the past few years. The two people I wanted to hate each other when I was a teenager, I am now working at making sweeter.

My father get's around very slowly with the aide of a cane &/or scooter. He has the ear-marks of dementia added to his failing health. (He's been dying for about 40 years now, lol!) Having a birthday for him is easy. We pull it all together and bring it to him. My mother? Wellll... how can he get anything for her when the occasion asks for it?

Mom's birthday is Nov 30th. I ordered her favorite cake (carrot) and drove off to get it on the 30th. Just before I could 'go' my father toddled to me in a shy tone and asked what I was getting her. "Flowers." (Roses. Dad has never bought flowers for her as far as I know.)

"Do they cost more than $10.00?"

"No dad." I smiled being certain not to look down on his aging male authority in that smile. Not out of fear. Out of respect. He is my father. He handed me a ten. It made his day. (I left.)

The off white, blush roses were perfect. 40$/dozen in a vase with baby's breath. The same shop had the perfect card which spoke of the perfect companion and love felt towards her. 6$.

The cake was still being decorated. (Little tip*- specialty cakes are not frozen, but the freshest you can get ;)

When I arrived home I backed into the drive, as I had yet to go pick my grand-daughter up from school. My mother came out of the home & down the ramp to help me bring in what I'd bought.

(Thinking I'd gone grocery shopping.) She carried the roses in with the smile of a young woman. I followed with cake in tow and cards in my purse. Dad's eye's popped wide at seeing her with them...parading them around like a teenager in love. I busied her in the kitchen, handed him the card and went back to keep her busy.

Upon opening her card from 'him' and reading what it said & what he had written...she cried.

(Mom cries easy*)

I picked up my grand-child. Cooked supper for the children which will also be their supper tonight. (It's Christmas time! The grandchild's parents have a work party to attend.)

My son-in-law and daughter brought filipino fan-fare for a celebration. We had fresh pansit, siopo (pronounced show-pow; they are wonderful steamed buns filled with tender pork), shanghi's (tiny thin loompia's) BBQ pork ribs and carrot cake. Everyone sang 'Happy Birthday' with a mixture of names in the song. (Grandma, Great Grandma, Mom, Shirley.)

Dad melted into their 55 years of marriage thinking that was how old she was now. (72.) He get's those sweet confused looks on his face quite a bit in the evenings.

If you have kept up with my digression than you understand where I am at the end of my blog today.

We slide into roles in our life not knowing it is where we are headed as sure as the sun rises and sets. We learn to juggle only to hand the game over to those we have been with us during the journey. I can in no way care for my parents when they become invaled if either one ends their time in that way. I am physically unable due to disabilities. I have siblings...they have full lives. We are at a cross road in society where the aged which hold the most wisdom of past and future no longer remain in their own homes. Mine will stay here as long as humanly possible.

I will go to my own father in heaven with a clear conscious. Multi-tasking myself in so many ways more than I was first aware. On a spiritual level, aging with the knowledge that I just may pass on in a strange room, confused and alone (or so one would think). Not out of lack of love, but to be blamed on multi-tasking to survive. Which is exactly what I use to ask God for when I would pray as my own child grew. God please give my daughter someone to love. Someone that will love her back equally. Give her a family that will bring her comfort on that day when I say good-bye, until we meet again.

God Bless & keep you and yours*