Multi-tasking*

Perhaps it is more of a female trait than a male one...though I have had the occasion to see my gender counter-parts handle it in smaller doses, but multi-tasking is a life long skill. In my day growing up, many girl children learned the skill in imitating 'mom' with house-hold chores. The 'before' better gadget's era included washing clothes, hanging them out to dry, ironing and starching where necessary. Hand washing and drying dishes, vacuming, sweeping, dusting, scrubbing bathrooms...you get the picture. Allowences came along several years later as a novel idea to encourage better work. In stern homes such as mine this was already taught as pride in effort.

Including this we go to school as part of our continuing education while the learning process hopefully pushes us down the path of a future career. Somewhere during these long years we juggle possibly sports, music, art, friendships and more. In it we once again should be learning how to be a wee bit proud of our efforts to the point of continuing the process till completed. Truth is, it's never done.

Somewhere in all of this we are suppose to fall in love and get married...having families of our own. Society has given us the choice of choosing otherwise. It actually appears to be somewhat easier if a person follows the marriage pathway both financially and productively. I have seen single people who have been successful in living alone, but with a great struggle, each time eventually winding up back at home with their parents. I know there are many out there otherwise, independant and strong. I just haven't been fortunate enough to see it last with any of my single acquaintances.

Why would anyone want to be single? Not everyone who is, does. Then again there are a few of us that do. For myself and those who are like me that I have had the pleasure of knowing, we've been there, done that with a very bad taste left in our mouths. Once burned, twice shy and really just not interested. We like to be alone. For myself...I am never alone as I am spiritual to an extreem. (Although I really don't push it on others.)

Back on topic...my career was a challenge for many years in order to fine tune the skill of multi-tasking needed for the job. Many secretaries know this all too well. Then again so do short order cooks, nurses, teachers...it really is part of most jobs. The further down the hill one is, the more it rolls towards them. The bigger the corporation one works for also increases the scope of responsibilities.

Then something creeps into our lives almost over night. That unwelcomed guest called 'change'.

(Aging.) While it is happening to us, it is equally occuring to all of those people in our lives. If you are fortuante enough to have your parents still alive, this means they are getting up in their years. Just as you have always been able to 'do' and now find some little inner objections to things...your parents are use to being independant. They too are finding that they need help with many daily things on a larger scheme. Remember all that pride we were learning in independance in order to succeed in life? OOoooo! It's grown really big and painful to deal with. Now it has a new name. Humility.

I'm not sure about anyone else...but sitting here past the 50 mark and looking back, my life looks like a choreography. I use to think it was a bunch of randome mistakes laced with luck swinging her wheel good or bad. Instead it looks like a purposeful road that has brought me to my present place in life. I have been having my first little dry run rehearsal's with care-taking in the past few years. The two people I wanted to hate each other when I was a teenager, I am now working at making sweeter.

My father get's around very slowly with the aide of a cane &/or scooter. He has the ear-marks of dementia added to his failing health. (He's been dying for about 40 years now, lol!) Having a birthday for him is easy. We pull it all together and bring it to him. My mother? Wellll... how can he get anything for her when the occasion asks for it?

Mom's birthday is Nov 30th. I ordered her favorite cake (carrot) and drove off to get it on the 30th. Just before I could 'go' my father toddled to me in a shy tone and asked what I was getting her. "Flowers." (Roses. Dad has never bought flowers for her as far as I know.)

"Do they cost more than $10.00?"

"No dad." I smiled being certain not to look down on his aging male authority in that smile. Not out of fear. Out of respect. He is my father. He handed me a ten. It made his day. (I left.)

The off white, blush roses were perfect. 40$/dozen in a vase with baby's breath. The same shop had the perfect card which spoke of the perfect companion and love felt towards her. 6$.

The cake was still being decorated. (Little tip*- specialty cakes are not frozen, but the freshest you can get ;)

When I arrived home I backed into the drive, as I had yet to go pick my grand-daughter up from school. My mother came out of the home & down the ramp to help me bring in what I'd bought.

(Thinking I'd gone grocery shopping.) She carried the roses in with the smile of a young woman. I followed with cake in tow and cards in my purse. Dad's eye's popped wide at seeing her with them...parading them around like a teenager in love. I busied her in the kitchen, handed him the card and went back to keep her busy.

Upon opening her card from 'him' and reading what it said & what he had written...she cried.

(Mom cries easy*)

I picked up my grand-child. Cooked supper for the children which will also be their supper tonight. (It's Christmas time! The grandchild's parents have a work party to attend.)

My son-in-law and daughter brought filipino fan-fare for a celebration. We had fresh pansit, siopo (pronounced show-pow; they are wonderful steamed buns filled with tender pork), shanghi's (tiny thin loompia's) BBQ pork ribs and carrot cake. Everyone sang 'Happy Birthday' with a mixture of names in the song. (Grandma, Great Grandma, Mom, Shirley.)

Dad melted into their 55 years of marriage thinking that was how old she was now. (72.) He get's those sweet confused looks on his face quite a bit in the evenings.

If you have kept up with my digression than you understand where I am at the end of my blog today.

We slide into roles in our life not knowing it is where we are headed as sure as the sun rises and sets. We learn to juggle only to hand the game over to those we have been with us during the journey. I can in no way care for my parents when they become invaled if either one ends their time in that way. I am physically unable due to disabilities. I have siblings...they have full lives. We are at a cross road in society where the aged which hold the most wisdom of past and future no longer remain in their own homes. Mine will stay here as long as humanly possible.

I will go to my own father in heaven with a clear conscious. Multi-tasking myself in so many ways more than I was first aware. On a spiritual level, aging with the knowledge that I just may pass on in a strange room, confused and alone (or so one would think). Not out of lack of love, but to be blamed on multi-tasking to survive. Which is exactly what I use to ask God for when I would pray as my own child grew. God please give my daughter someone to love. Someone that will love her back equally. Give her a family that will bring her comfort on that day when I say good-bye, until we meet again.

God Bless & keep you and yours*