This is it?

It seems that I spent my first 20 years identifying myself from my families fears, anger and introverted nature. Much of what happened within individual homes was mirrored in Hollywood, behind closed doors with separate beds. Sex was not a mystery as much as a duty first and a secret. Period. Our largely Christian society strongly recommended that the wife stay at home with the children and housekeeping, while the husband brought home a paycheck. Everything was meant to run in an orderly fashion for what reason's can only be to feed the governmental head. The 50's had many great things within (it), but as with all generations (in a technological growing world), the old must die out to be replaced by the new. This is more in retrospect to people and their concepts or ideals than to any thing we may hold to be true.
We were suppose to be a catholic nation infiltrated by Martin Luther, Calvin and the rest of those seeking power in truth. Ironically we reside in a separation of power versus thought as religion can not rule (which is a big shocker even today).
It is not the church where God lives (if one is any doctrinal believer), but the individual seeker. Otherwise 'church' is a social gathering of like minds focused as a whole into a single chaotic thought. I say that because each person has their own agenda in spite of appearances or numbers. Most use music with directional guidance to focus those energies created within them. (Be they church, mosque,synagog or circle gathering.)
So where do I, the writer, find God and do I believe in him or her. As for that, what do I believe? Many believe me to be a heretic or sweetly (and quietly) mad. Perhaps I am. Without delving further into what I am or am not my true reason in writing this blog is to examine my own depression. Where does it come from and how is it tamed? Yes I am on medication, but I also believe that rubbing ointment on a wound only helps if you don't keep causing the wound to reoccur or grow. It would be interesting to know how many are 'on' anti-depressants and if the medications cure the ailment or just cover the wounds to keep them in the dark.
With this being the start of a new direction on my blog I will end till tomorrow. So far, the medications hold the darkness on one side of the door and the light peeking through the other. Good-night*